Many of us often wonder what it’s like to adopt a child?
What happens when adopting a child as a baby? Is it possible to keep the adopted child’s status a secret? What to do if the child finally knows he was adopted?
Many people decide to adopt a child because of a partner’s condition that is no longer possible to become pregnant because they are too risky. Usually due to health reasons, such as mothers who suffer from heart disease, hypertension, asthma, diabetes, epilepsy, kidney failure, HIV / AIDS, or some cesarean section.
But not a few couples who are economically capable of having the desire to help others by adopting children. It could be that the adopted child’s parents are close relatives who are less able or don’t even know each other by a partner. Many things can affect a person or partner in adopting a child. But usually, it is psychological factors that influence them to adopt children. Therefore, adoption lawyers in tulsa oklahoma is here to overcome this.
Can an adopted child from birth not be told that he or she is an adopted child?
Parents can cover up the adoption status of the child, but there will be times when each child will find out the origin. We can not avoid events that make children know themselves, for example from documents, relative’s information, or from biological parents who are looking for it.
Before that happens, it is recommended that parents inform first. The more parents cover-up, the more the child realizes something is wrong with his presence in the family.
When adopting children, when should children understand that they are adopted?
Based on practical experience, it is strongly recommended that children know about their adoption status from parents, not from neighbors, counselors, distant relatives, even more so from adoption documents/birth certificates that he found himself.
Conflicts usually occur when parents cover up the status of the child, then the child knows from outsiders. Usually, this causes anger and disbelief in parents. Again, parents must have the right perception of adoption so they do not consider it a taboo discussion.
An understanding of adoption delivered faster is better. Every stage of age, of course, there are tricks to deliver each. When children are under 5 years old, parents can create adoption-themed stories with animal figures. For example, cute kittens are raised by kind-hearted dog mums, and they live happily with love.
Children begin to recognize the family system when he is 6 years old. At this age, parents can begin to tell the actual conditions in children. One way is to show photos of the child’s life journey.
Show photos when the child first comes home, photos of special moments with parents such as birthdays, holidays, and others. Parents can explain, there are no photos when the mother is pregnant or when she was born.
Although not born from the stomach of the mother who is now raising him, the child can see from other photographs that he was received happily and lovingly in the family. Starting at the age of 7 years, parents have to be open about the origin of children.
If there is a moment when a child is angry / withdraws after knowing the status, parents need to understand that this is a natural thing. Be with the child during this period, and answer the child’s questions honestly.
Continue to remind the child that he is loved and accepted without conditions. This will help the child to slowly accept his presence in the family.
All of the above is very important for parents to know about adopting. Because it all will affect the healthy lifestyle patterns that are certainly wanted by everyone.